The Journey So Far...

The Journey So Far...

Thursday, August 5, 2010

Day 331

Today was actually quite a good day. I ate on plan all day for the first time in almost 2 weeks. Its a good step in the right direction. Slasher week started Monday, but other than that things are on track. I am feeling a lot better about everything.

I have a family reunion to go to on Saturday. The first one in years for my family. Since my grandfather died I have been feeling very strongly about family. I remember being 17 and feeling like such an outsider. I was the fattest person in my family, and the youngest granddaughter. I felt uncomfortable and ashamed and alone. Today I am looking forward to this reunion. It is the last big thing for this summer, and the first time I have seen many people in my family in over 10 years. In the past 331 days I have committed to saving my own life. I have lost an amazing amount of clothing sizes. I have jogged. I have lost almost 100 pounds. I have also struggled, been setback, gained, lost again, and found new life within myself.

In the past 331 days I lost one of the most influential and important people I have ever loved. I compare myself to my grandfather quite proudly. He was strong, intelligent, and determined. He always thought I was too. I want to live up to that. In the next 331 days I will. I am finding myself looking forward to something that would have scared me in the past, and I am going to win over the food battle that there will definitely be fought there. I said I still had all of the same motivation right? Well then, lets get back to it. I can, and will win this war. I'm dealing with my life and other peoples lives and my feelings and making it work. I know, everyone deals with their lives while also trying to lose weight. This is a personal account though, and I suppose on some level it wouldn't be complete without that part, and I would be lying if I said life was peachy right now.

I know this entry is all over the place! I'm just getting my thoughts out there. I'm trying to hang in there and get back to trotting along where I am supposed to be at the same time.

Getting back on the wagon, again.

Today:
1 coffee w ff cream: 3
1 banana: 2
1 can soup: 3
3 slices cheese: 3
1 serving cheddar rice crisps: 2
2 servings mixed fruit: 2
1 banana: 2
1 serving white chicken chili: 9
1 serving doritos: 5
31/38

2 comments:

Rettakat said...

So many important, deep, and meaningful changes, all in less than a year. That is a LOT to process. Especially losing your Grandfather.

The fact that you are still going, determined to success in spite of bumps--and craters--in the road tells alot about you. It speaks well of you.

I agree, you sound a LOT like your Grandfather. What a wonderful legacy.

Loretta
=^..^=

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