Week #51 Part B

Sorry I took an extra two days to post this week. I have been busy, and honestly I was so relieved because I was ready to come back here and write this long post on not giving up , even when you're struggling , but I ended up losing weight. I lost 9.2 lbs, confirming that traveling on air planes hates me so very much.

So listen. Even when you feel like you are at your absolute worst. Whether you just ate an entire pizza, or spent the day on the couch, or gained the week before and had trouble keeping it together for the week following that weigh in... STOP. Stop thinking about how bad you are, or how unworthy you are, or how whatever you want most in your heart is never going to happen, maybe you don't deserve it. STOP STOP STOP.

None of that is true. We are worth it, and you know what? We deserve down time, and we deserve to occasionally have the foods we love, and we DO occasionally have to give negativity its space. Acknowledge that we are feeling out of sorts, and then maybe set it aside or wash it away.

I gained weight last week, and when I did I was okay at first. I know I gain weight when I get on air planes and I know that all of the eating out we do at conventions causes water retention. It didn't matter. I still felt like I was failing and I kept going over my week like there had to have been something I forgot to count, or many things I forgot to count. And none of that is true. I was as diligent as I could be. I went to the gym, I got in 10,000+ steps a day, 20,000 on Sunday.

It didn't matter. I tore myself apart, just like I know so many people do. My friends do it, the people in the meetings do it.

Be kind to yourself. Accept that you might have messed up and go on doing your best. One bad week/day/meal doesn't ruin anything unless you let it. You're human, and you're in this for life. Expect bumps.

That being said, I was a little irritated at the meeting leader we had. She read my weight loss number out loud. Then when I tried to explain that it was at least 6.6 lbs of water weight she told me (in front of the meeting) that I was downplaying the positive. That isn't it at all. There are 20 other women in that room. Some of whom probably struggled to lose less than a pound that week. I don't want anyone to feel like they would lose 9 pounds in a week if they tried harder. It isn't true. 9 lbs isn't typical, and my average per week is a little less than 3...and I started at 460 lbs. There was a woman who was celebrating a year on Weight Watchers, and her total loss was 25 lbs. Don't shake your head, you know rationally no matter how much more you have to lose than someone else that losing weight is hard and the fact that she kept it off for a year? I applaud her. Right after we celebrated her the meeting leader asked me what my total weight loss was...I was kind of irritated.

See you next Monday!