Day 282

Quick post tonight, as I have a friend here. Her long time boyfriend (might as well be husband) is coming in from out of state tomorrow and she is trying to finish his birthday gift. A 13 foot long Doctor Who scarf. She taught herself how to knit and is now putting the finishing touches (tassels) on it and wanted my help. I will post a picture of the scarf tomorrow Friday after she gives it to him.

There was a party today that I attended after I went to the gym. Two days down! I did alright at the party too. I'm finding that I am eating almost all of my extra points this week, but I'm okay with that as I have 23 activity points so far and if everything goes as planned I should have another 17 or so on Friday. I should definitely show a loss this week!

Today:
2 low fat whole grain waffles: 2
w 1 serving reduced cal syrup: 2
1/2 banana: 1
1 yogurt: 2
2 servings ww brown pasta: 7
1 serving sauce: 3
2 slices pizza: 8
1 slice cake: 10
1 serving enchilada: 8
2 servings mixed veggies: 0
38/38 + 5/11

Day 281

Today was unremarkable except for my head ache, which has let up a bit in the last hour. I did not go to the gym today which is fine as my revised goal was 3 days a week. I'm still feeling really motivated and on track. My food was great today too. I don't know how to describe it...I just feel...hopeful again. I don't feel stuck! Hopefully it sticks. I've always known that this was the "it" time for me. The journey that I would finally make it through to the other side. Greener pastures if you will. I guess just like anything else I cant rush through it and expect it to work. I'm going to have to patience and work through the down days. I know I'm not there yet, but I know I'm on my way.

I am however looking at some step (or one of the many videos on cable) and I might try one tonight, nothing huge, maybe 30 minutes to give myself a little boost and keep my enthusiasm up. Plus I need to start stretching, seriously, my hamstrings are so sore! I guess that's a good sign though.

Well, time to get off of my butt!

Today:
2 low fat whole grain waffles: 2
w 1 serving reduced cal syrup: 2
1/2 cup fresh blueberries: 1
1 bag broccoli slaw: 1
2 servings low sodium soy sauce: 1
3 tbsp teriyaki sauce: 2
1 arnolds sand thin: 1
1 serving lunch meat: 2
1/2 serving cheese: 1
1 serving mustard: 0
1 serving pickles: 0
1 serving cheddar rice crisps: 2
1 arnold sand thin: 1
1 serving jam: 1
1/2 serving nutella: 3
1 serving whole wheat macaroni: 4
1 serving pasta sauce w tons of veggies: 3
1 cup of soup: 6
1 whole grain waffle: 1
1 tbsp spaghetti sauce: 0
1/2 serving cheese: 1
1 serving diet pepsi cake: 4
38/38 + 4/15

Crap. I forgot about the pepsi cake until I was going over everything I tracked just now. Oh well.

Day 280

Something that makes me smile? I have more energy and it doesn't hurt as much to use it. My poor husband is sick, but went to work anyway and now he feels rather horrid. So I'm taking care of him, and doing the things he normally does at night. A year ago I would not have been capable of the tedious back and forth, up and down type stuff. I'd have helped him as much as I could, but he would still have had to do things for me...and he would have because he loves me (and he in fact keeps asking me if I need help). Tonight though, I can totally take care of him. That makes me smile.

I think I'm off to a pretty nice march here so far. I can see Diet Parade just around the corner up ahead. I'm having trouble planning my points out so that I don't have a ton left over at the end of the evening...but so far that seems to be it. My veggies could be better, but I got 7 servings of fruits and veggies in today...

I went to the gym and I did 55 minutes of cardio and my full circuit. Yes, I am so counting that 55 minutes as an hour! I was getting a pretty bad headache. I have been fighting a headache since last Thursday, but I have meds from last time to try and make sure it doesn't turn into a migraine again.

So I fell off for a month here, and the Monday Spring Challenge Check in's haven't been coming. I'm sorry for that, but I am going to post one tonight because I'm back and even though I've neglected...well...everything, I want to get it all straight.

My goals are:
1. Exercise 1 hour a day 5 days a week for 13 weeks.
2. Eat the WW recommended servings of fruits and vegetables every day.
3. Go to as many WW meetings as I possibly can.
4. Check in on Mondays.
5. Get a bike. Finally.

1. I am getting back to it! I know its late, but I am determined!
2. I again am getting better but I'm still a work in progress.
3. I went to my meeting!
4. Totally checking in right now!
5. Soon! I almost went bike riding at the beach with Chad, but Uncle Freddy came a knockin' almost as soon as we realized the condo came with bikes!

Now something I like about myself. I like that I am without a doubt, resilient. Despite being down and out, or falling back I will never give up. I will be fighting this battle for the rest of my life. Nothing ends at 165lbs, life begins anew! I still have to be careful though because I know the risks of food and lifestyle choices. I will never be 400+ again, but I'll have to be mindful. And who knows? Being down and out recently could be a cyclic thing, I might have to fight this and "fake it until I make" it several times before I hit 165. Does that make it less worth it? No way. I will be riding roller coasters, wearing smaller clothes, taking care of sick husbands and having babies by the time I am done. Living life is always worth bouncing back.

Today:
2 low fat whole grain waffles: 2
w 1 serving reduced cal syrup: 2
1 banana: 2
1 arnolds sand thin: 1
1 veggie burger: 2
1 serving cheddar rice crisps: 2
1 banana: 2
1 serving chicken tomato and potato stew: 9
1 arnolds sand thin: 1
1/2 serving cheese: 1
1/2 serving turkey breast lunch meat: 1
1 serving mustard: 0
2 slices tomato: 0
1 slice roasted red pepper: 0
1 serving dinner (later): 9
1 slice diet cherry pepsi cake: 4
38/38

Diet Cherry Pepsi cake

1 box any reduced sugar (or not) chocolate cake
12 oz diet cherry pepsi
1 pack ff, sf, instant chocolate pudding (4 serving box)
2 egg whites
1 20 oz can cherry pie filling

Mix dry cake mix, pudding mix, egg whites, and pepsi until well blended.

Spoon mixture into bottom of prepared bundt pan.

Spoon half the can of cherries in on top.

Spoon the rest of the cake mixture on top of the cherries.

Bake as package directs (check though, mine took the lower amount of time).

After the cake cools, remove it from the bundt pan and pour the remaining pie filling over the top.

Enjoy!

Day 279

So raise your glasses of ice water to bravery tonight, because I did in fact go to my meeting. For the first time in a month. I'm planning to not miss anymore. I find it gets easier to find reasons not to go the longer that you don't. I gained 3.6lbs. Not terrible considering the month, and my recklessness. I'll admit too, that at first, and especially this morning, I felt ashamed. It's hard to separate your self worth from how much you weigh. When those numbers on the scale climb, we start marking down our value. As if somehow a few extra pounds on the journey as a whole equates us to a Wal-Mart rollback item. We are better than that. I know I am, and as much as it stung to go in there and face my consequences, it was certainly freeing to put them behind me and be able to move on and feel motivated again.

This week you are going to see me kicking butt.

On a side note I have decided to slowly start moving my starting day (for weekly points and such) to Sundays. Since we are doing it slowly I am starting by moving it back to Monday, and then in a week or so I will drop it back to Sunday. That way everything, weigh ins, and points wise will correspond.

I did not eat well today! Though I started out not so bad. I counted everything! I had take out with the family tonight and the worst I've done is use some extra points.

Today:
1 yogurt: 2
1/2 subway turkey sub: 5
w cheese: 1
w mayo: 1
1 serving baked lays: 3
3/4 dinner size serving taco soup: 6
1 serving cheese: 2
1 bite cheesecake )I made a banana cheesecake for my husbands father, he has been asking for it for over a year now.): 1
1/2 cheesesteak sub (hopefully over estimations using calorieking.com): 20
1 small order frenchfries: 13
3 buffalo wings: 4
38/38 + 20/35 (weekly)

It always has bothered me to use the weeklies, but this is what they are there for. I will say though that my body does not appreciate this treatment. After working so hard this week I ate and became really ill. It was either bad food, or my body in revolt...which gave maybe half of everything back. Ick.

Day 278

Early post tonight because I am going to my meeting tomorrow, and after this bad sci fi movie (Stonehenge Appocalypse on Syfy) ends I am hoping to be headed to bed.

I have grocery shopping after my meeting tomorrow, and I'm really getting kind of excited about being back on plan. Its kind of freeing. I am planning my meals and thus my choices again. Once I add the exercise back this week everything should progress again. Never say die!

Edited to add my dinner list for the week (incl my notes):

1. Chicken Fajita Pizza (on flatout?) w green beans
2. BBQ Chicken Burritos w french fries and carrots (Next week idea, make extra chicken w/ bbq and make a bbq chicken pizza!)
3. Enchilada lasagna w mixed mexican veggies
4. macaroni and spaghetti sauce w double veggies (use zuchini before it goes off!)
5. chicken tomato and potato stew (double-ish batch to have extra for lunches)

Today:
1 (dinner size) serving taco soup: 7
1 serving cheese: 2
1 serving cheddar rice crips: 2
1 ww ice cream: 2
1 arnolds sand thin: 1
1 serving jam: 1
1/2 serving pb: 3
1 serving chicken teriyaki w 2 servings veggies: 6
1 cup brown rice: 4
28/38

I'm ten points shy, and I am kinda hungry but tomorrow is grocery day and there isn't a lot to chose from! I'll come up with something and update before I go to sleep. Maybe I'll have another serving of dinner?

Added Food:
1 bag broccoli slaw: 1
1 serving dinner w/o rice: 7
36/38

Day 277

I was not terribly active today but I have been incredibly active this week, despite it being a slasher week. I was out walking several days in a row (on the boardwalk!) at a pretty nice clip for several hours at a time. I'm not feeling too bad about a down day at this point. Though I do have the urge to over do everything so that I don't have to face the inevitable gain I'm going to see on Sunday. I have been pretty loose for the past 2 weeks, my only salvation being that I never stopped telling myself I was on a diet and so I wasn't going overboard constantly. I have a feeling that had I been able to cultivate that mindset a long time before now I'd never have made it to over 400 lbs. You guys are right though, I have all of the tools I need to go on. Thanks for that!

Today:
1/2 turkey sub on wheat (subway): 5
w/cheese: 1
w/mayo: 1
1 serving baked lays: 3
1 small mocha iced coffee with skim milk and splenda: 3
1 bag broccoli slaw: 1
2 servings soy sauce (low sodium): 1
3 tbsp teriyaki sauce: 2
1 ww ice cream bar: 2
1 (dinner size) serving taco soup: 7
1 serving cheese: 2
2 low fat whole grain waffles: 2
1 tbsp jam: 1
1 serving light syrup: 2
1 bag light popcorn: 5
38/38

Day 264 - 276

This was taken on Wednesday Morning. It was hard to post this picture (I'm wearing shorts!), but it proves a major point to me. This is all worth it. I would suffer through every single part I don't like, to continue to experience the transformation that has taken place in me. I stalled recently and it really gives me some perspective here. I am happier when I am making better choices.

So this has been the longest that I have ever gone without posting. I have to admit that I have been in a bit of a funk, diet and life wise. But you knew that. Anyone reading this knew it! I suffered some intense emotional turmoil and I dropped off the diet parade route harder than I have have before. I took the last twelve days and I went on vacation, we had our car fixed, we are spraying once a week for bed bugs (which are controlled, thank God for that), and my cat is better (so far so good.). I went to the gym twice last week, but my heart still wasn't in it for real. I'm back though and I'm going to work through it all because I'm just not ready to fail. I talked before about going back to basics but I didn't then. I know it will help me though because it has gotten me back on track before, I just need to be more firm. I'm still one of those people who cant take a break from this, you know? One day off or even really one meal is too many. I did get to the point where one meal off once in a while wasn't bad, but see where I am now? That is an incredibly slippery slope. So back to basics for real I go.

I am going to be aiming to go to the gym three times a week, more is bonus. I am aiming for 180 minutes of cardio a week right now, or what ends up being an hour for every day I go to the gym.

I have to start reporting what I eat every day here on the blog because I am much more honest about it when I do. I'm also writing everything down again (and have been for about a week now) to help me stay within my boundaries.

I'm going back to getting in my veggies every single day (that I can).

No eating after 2am on every day but Saturday when I stop eating after 11pm.

Make my Meetings!!

This isn't starting over or anything like that. 12 days isn't enough to call a "do over". Its enough to take a swift kick to the butt and realize that you need to get up though. I walked the boardwalk at the ocean this week with my husband, and I was never winded or tired or hurting. 3 years ago on the same boardwalk I cried because it hurt so much to walk for so long. I have to tell you I just don't want to lose that. I don't want to lose the freedom that losing over 80lbs (so far!) has given me. The confidence alone! I am wearing shorts! Honestly! A year ago I would not have dared to wear shorts, and besides that I couldn't have bought any. Maybe at a plus size store, but for way too much money. I got these at Wal-Mart, and yes, I was over excited. I think I deserved that. Just like I deserve to keep going, and I deserve to weigh 165 pounds. So this Sunday I am going to Weight Watchers, loss or gain, and I am going knowing that I am back to making good choices.

If I missed any points or important parts, let me know. Or really if anyone wants to know anything, ask and I will answer.

Today:
2 whole wheat waffles: 2
1 serving jam: 1
1 serving reduced calorie syrup: 2
1 arnolds sand: 1
1 veg burger: 2
1 serving mashed potatoes: 2
1 serving cheese: 2
1 can soup: 3
1 serving rice crisps: 2
1 ww ice cream: 2
1 bag popcorn: 5
2 ff hot dogs: 3
2 arnolds thin hot dog rolls: 3
1 serving baked beans: 3
1 yogurt: 2
35/38