The Journey So Far...

The Journey So Far...

Friday, June 11, 2010

Day 264 - 276

This was taken on Wednesday Morning. It was hard to post this picture (I'm wearing shorts!), but it proves a major point to me. This is all worth it. I would suffer through every single part I don't like, to continue to experience the transformation that has taken place in me. I stalled recently and it really gives me some perspective here. I am happier when I am making better choices.

So this has been the longest that I have ever gone without posting. I have to admit that I have been in a bit of a funk, diet and life wise. But you knew that. Anyone reading this knew it! I suffered some intense emotional turmoil and I dropped off the diet parade route harder than I have have before. I took the last twelve days and I went on vacation, we had our car fixed, we are spraying once a week for bed bugs (which are controlled, thank God for that), and my cat is better (so far so good.). I went to the gym twice last week, but my heart still wasn't in it for real. I'm back though and I'm going to work through it all because I'm just not ready to fail. I talked before about going back to basics but I didn't then. I know it will help me though because it has gotten me back on track before, I just need to be more firm. I'm still one of those people who cant take a break from this, you know? One day off or even really one meal is too many. I did get to the point where one meal off once in a while wasn't bad, but see where I am now? That is an incredibly slippery slope. So back to basics for real I go.

I am going to be aiming to go to the gym three times a week, more is bonus. I am aiming for 180 minutes of cardio a week right now, or what ends up being an hour for every day I go to the gym.

I have to start reporting what I eat every day here on the blog because I am much more honest about it when I do. I'm also writing everything down again (and have been for about a week now) to help me stay within my boundaries.

I'm going back to getting in my veggies every single day (that I can).

No eating after 2am on every day but Saturday when I stop eating after 11pm.

Make my Meetings!!

This isn't starting over or anything like that. 12 days isn't enough to call a "do over". Its enough to take a swift kick to the butt and realize that you need to get up though. I walked the boardwalk at the ocean this week with my husband, and I was never winded or tired or hurting. 3 years ago on the same boardwalk I cried because it hurt so much to walk for so long. I have to tell you I just don't want to lose that. I don't want to lose the freedom that losing over 80lbs (so far!) has given me. The confidence alone! I am wearing shorts! Honestly! A year ago I would not have dared to wear shorts, and besides that I couldn't have bought any. Maybe at a plus size store, but for way too much money. I got these at Wal-Mart, and yes, I was over excited. I think I deserved that. Just like I deserve to keep going, and I deserve to weigh 165 pounds. So this Sunday I am going to Weight Watchers, loss or gain, and I am going knowing that I am back to making good choices.

If I missed any points or important parts, let me know. Or really if anyone wants to know anything, ask and I will answer.

2 whole wheat waffles: 2
1 serving jam: 1
1 serving reduced calorie syrup: 2
1 arnolds sand: 1
1 veg burger: 2
1 serving mashed potatoes: 2
1 serving cheese: 2
1 can soup: 3
1 serving rice crisps: 2
1 ww ice cream: 2
1 bag popcorn: 5
2 ff hot dogs: 3
2 arnolds thin hot dog rolls: 3
1 serving baked beans: 3
1 yogurt: 2


Verity Vaudeville said...

It sounds like you've got exactly the right attitude. You don't fail by falling; you fail by staying down. And you've still got so many punches to pull.

You can do this!

Miz said...

delurking to say Im so glad you are back.
youre rebounded and doing this.

Take care,


Raegun said...

The important thing is that you are still moving forward and focused on your next steps. I really admire that. Whenever I fall 'off the wagon' I have a heck of a time not living in the past and focusing on what went wrong rather than focusing on what I have to do to get back on track. Good for you!

On a side note, I just found your blog and have really enjoyed reading your older posts. I have similar goals to you and it's refreshing to find someone who is so honest (good & bad!) about what they're going through. Feel free to visit anytime. :)

M @ The Woes and Throes said...

I'm glad to see you caught things before it got too out of hand. I know you can do this, you've already proved it.

janedog said...

I am also "delurking" to say that I'm glad you're back. I've been reading your blog for a while now, and I really admire your progress and your whole attitude towards weight loss. And you write honestly and with such feeling, too. Anyways just saying hello and offering my support! I am rooting for you. I think you have everything you need to keep on keepin' on!

midlife_swimmer said...

Someday you are going to love that photo for how far it will concretely show you you have journeyed.

Rettakat said...

I'm glad you are back, too! And I agree with you... we can never really go back and "start over". All we can do is get up, dust off, learn from it, and go ON. Just like you are doing.

You have a solid plan, and are committed to it. I agree with Stacia.. someday you will be tickled to post that photo beside the goal photo. :-)