The Journey So Far...

The Journey So Far...

Friday, February 19, 2010

Day 163

I am coming back slowly here. I have been floating listlessly around this week. I am starting to feel better I think. I haven't been off (again) but I haven't been trying very hard. I read once that a lot of the people who start a weight loss blog fall off the radar in short time. I dont want to be one of those people, but I do understand them. I understand life being overwhelming. I understand there being more to think about than how many points my dinner is going to be. I understand being stressed and needing to give this a back burner, but I don't understand not wanting this more than anything else ever. So for what its worth, I am not going to fade away. I will keep this up even if my coverage here is spotty (which I hope it isn't). Like I have said before I dont always know what to say, but I think I can just keep saying what I feel.

We have a bill for over $1400 dollars that is due in 9 days, we are moving in 18 days, and our car is giving us trouble. I do feel overwhelmed and stressed. This isn't an excuse to eat the wrong things, but it does leave me looking for that crutch I'm trying so desperately to walk without. I have said it time and time again but I don't think people who aren't trying to lose weight understand: This is the hardest thing I have ever tried to do. It isn't about "just not eating", it isn't that simple. I feel like a plant struggling for life because of the weeds that have grown into my roots. I'm fighting to separate myself from this thing that has become an intricate, almost connatural part of me. The emotions that go along with splitting from this part of myself are intense and real and sometimes physical.

I am not perfect, nor do I wish to be. I'm here, in both good and bad times to help myself heal, and to promote growth. This has been my anchor whenever I felt like I was drifting away. I felt like I needed to come back here.

Time to catch up with the parade.

Today:
Sushi: 12
1 cup vegetable stirfry: 2
1 arnolds sandwich thin: 1
1 veggie burger: 2
1 yogurt: 2
1 1/4 cup bran flakes: 3
1/2 cup skim milk: 1
1 banana: 2
1 meatball sandwich (home made): 9
1 serving green beans: 0
1 (homemade) quesadilla: 5
1 serving ice cream: 3
42/42

3 comments:

Rettakat said...

"I'm here, in both good and bad times to help myself heal, and to promote growth. This has been my anchor whenever I felt like I was drifting away. I felt like I needed to come back here."

I think the majority of us who are really serious can identify with that. And I also know that sometimes we feel like the well is running dry... and life is screaming loud in our face at times.

Don't feel like you have to meet some quota... just write what YOU need to, when YOU need to. And we'll cheer you on!
Loretta
=^..^=

Esther said...

I wanted to let you know that I've nominated you for a creative writing award. To claim your award go to 100 Pounds Less and follow the rules in the post. Thanks for sharing your journey with the rest of us!

CinciMom11 said...

It's good to hear from you! I'm sorry life is so overwhelming right now. You appear to be taking it all in stride. Keep it up, girl!