The Journey So Far...

The Journey So Far...

Thursday, July 1, 2010

Day 296

So I had a bad night last night. I ended up eating a few things that I shouldn't have out of stress. I guess that would be binging? Right. This morning I was all set to beat myself up over it. You see, this is my pattern of stumbling. I get stressed, I screw up, I get depressed and so on and so forth. This afternoon after a morning of wallowing I decided that I was tired of it. No, I'm not always going to be able to fight it off but when I feel like I have a choice, don't I have to make it? All throughout this journey I've had light bulbs going on all over the place and I feel like this was one of them. One of those moments when another flip switches. One day, one meal, one bad choice did not get me to 417.8 lbs and still wont. It took a series of bad choices, a lifetime of bad days filled with bad meals. I am not the girl I used to be! I got up, off of my pathetic wallowing butt, put on my gym clothes and off I went. I upped the resistance on the elliptical today and went for another hour. It was a lot like the sweat washed away all of the tension and worry of the last few days. I feel better, and when I came out of the gym I made myself a promise: I will get to 100 lbs lost (or as close as is humanly possible, don't think that if I miss the mark a little I am going to kick myself.) in the next two weeks. The thing is, even if I cant, I am going to work at it like I can. I am tired of not feeling in control. To a certain extent yes, our bodies do what they want. But I am able to make choices that influence what my body does. This is me, taking the reigns.

2 ww waffles: 2
1 serving syrup: 2
1 banana: 2
1 serving doritos: 4
1 serving enchiladas: 7
1 arnolds sand thin: 1
1 veggie burger: 2
1 serving enchiladas: 7
1 1/2 cup strawberries (fresh): 1
1 serving spinach: 0
1 serving carrots: 0
1 serving pickles: 0
1 serving tortilla strips: 1
1/2 serving cheese: 1
1 serving crasins: 2
3 tbsp light ranch: 3


Raegun said...

I loved this post. What a great reminder to not let a bad meal turn into a bad day into a bad week. Fantastic light bulb moment!
You are so close to your goal. You can do it!

SG said...

love your attitude! way to get back on track.

bloojay said...

This is so true. I think the biggest danger in a binge is not the actual calories I consume during it, but the mental stumble and how it can lead to all those feelings that make me want to grab more food for comfort. I think you handled it the best way-- just acknowledge over-doing it and move on.