Day 17

Today was another really good day. I am really pushing myself at the gym, and when I can do that I feel really good.

My food has been great too. I'm staying in my points, even though for some reason today I felt ravenous all day. Dinner was taco soup with jasmine rice and a toasted whole wheat tortilla. I added some guacamole and light sour cream and I felt like I was being incredibly indulgent. I was also finally feeling satisfied which is important to me at the end of the day.

So I have a drawing I need to post that Retta made for everyone to color in last week, but I haven't finished it. I just haven't had the time to get everything done (and I will admit that when I hit the gym as hard as I have this week all I want to so at home is rest! I need to build up my endurance again!). However, I will definitely have time the rest of this week so I will be looking forward to posting that for you guys.

Sorry to make this so short, I am just so tired after the gym! I could update before the gym but I love being able to say I went to the gym instead of "I plan on going". (Edit: Annnd then I wrote a ton more...)

I'm feeling really good about the path I am on. Even though I am not where I set out to be 2 years ago when I started Diet Parade I am not ashamed, though I will admit to being disappointed. Life is full of turn abouts and resets. Sometimes you need to make the wrong turn to learn how to stay on the path at all. I'm still learning some amazing things about myself and who I really am. I'm not perfect, I never will be. I will have bad food days, there will be days where I skip the gym to veg out or to go out with friends. I have cried over pizza, lost 99 pounds, gained it back, been made fun of, been sabotaged, sabotaged myself, hurt myself because of pushing myself too hard. I have hoped and lost hope and found it again. The path to success is unique to the individual and almost never a straight line. I can't quit just because I got turned around before.

So here I am, feeling really committed and strong. I am starting to feel that little vibration of hope fluttering around in my chest. Even though its hard, I can do this. I will do this until I get it right.