The Journey So Far...

The Journey So Far...

Wednesday, March 28, 2012

Day 72

I was going to wait until tomorrow to make this update but Chad has to change the rat cage anyway so here I am on my nook.

I was okay today except I caved a little on lunch with my mom and got Chinese and sushi. Dinner was lighter with veggies. I made the chicken and broccoli casserole recipe from the current issue of Eating Well magazine. Tomorrow when I am not on my nook I will update with a link. Later in the evening I had a fruit and yogurt smoothie. Other than that I haven't eaten anything. I had an appointment with my aunt this morning to have my hair done (yay! Finally!) And didn't eat while I was at her shop.

Then tonight my gym buddy and I decided to try my yoga DVD for real. We were shut down pretty quickly. We need mats. The floor was painful! So we did what we could and tomorrow while I am out grocery shopping I am going to look for a mat.

My mood has really lifted some. I still find myself drifting into destructive thought patterns and sometimes I miss Blue so much I find my throat catching. I feel so much guilt. I loved her though and I believe I gave her a good life.

I'm going to go watch the rats jump back into the tank while the cats despair. It's cute. :)

Recipe from this dinner:


Rettakat said...

Your grief is normal and the fact that you are feeling it instead of numbing it with food is good news! Not fun, yeah, but normal. Yay you!
I liked reading that you are investing in stuff for YOU, like the new yoga mat, and having your hair done.
One of the most difficult thing for me to learn (I'm still working on it) is to not allow my thoughts to wander off over the cliff, taking me with them! I have to choose not to dwell on the negative, but rather on the good stuff.

Like what you did, remembering how much you loved Blue, and that you DID give her a loving home and a good life. You did your best, and I'm sure she felt that love. :-)

Scarlet Simple said...

Thanks for that. I really did love Blue so much and I think she knew that, or at least she trusted me implicitly.

I try to do things for me that don't always involve food. I need to find new relaxing and coping mechanisms to avoid falling into the traps I set for myself.