The Journey So Far...

The Journey So Far...

Wednesday, April 7, 2010

Day 211

I had a strange day. I woke up feeling not so with it (it is HOT in Baltimore right now, it will be 90 degrees tomorrow.) and my leg was kinda hurting at the hip (joint?). I went through my chores, took a shower and got dressed for the gym. Then once at the gym, I lost my mind! I felt so much anxiety that I could not make myself get out of the car. I drove out of the parking lot, and went to get a diet soda. Then, with the help of my mom we tried talking about my issue. I just don't know what it is! Yes, the gym makes me feel self conscious. Yes, sometimes my workouts are really hard (for me). Yes, sometimes I am so tired after the gym that making dinner is hard work. These things don't feel like the thing that is making me anxious though! I wish I could nail it down! I have spent weeks like this now! It's frustrating. I sat in the car and cried. I felt overwhelmed. I wanted to go home and I wanted to go work out. After caffeine and tears I dragged myself back to the gym and into the workout room. Maybe it's the changing seasons and the added heat and humidity along with my normal anxiety level? I was miserably hot today, we don't have central ac where we live now.

Today was cardio only, so I grabbed an elliptical. After 30 minutes my leg still hurt (its weird, its like an internal "clicking" feeling at the joint), it didn't hurt more, but it made the movement on the elliptical machine pretty uncomfortable. I talked to the trainer and he told me that maybe I needed more time in between sessions on the elliptical, and that I should try soaking after my workouts. So I stopped at 30 minutes today, and he told me that I should push for another 60 tomorrow.

All in all the day went and ended well. I had a great food day, and I still took my sorry butt into that gym. It's really hard for me when it gets hot like this. I feel like I can not function. I really hope as I get lighter that it gets easier to deal with.

Today:
1 serving rice pilaf: 6
2 servings mixed veggies: 0
1 tbsp sauce: 1
1 lean cuisine: 6
1 yogurt: 2
1 can soup: 5
1 serving cheese: 2
1 serving chips: 3
1 serving inside out egg roll: 1
1 serving sticky rice: 4
1 cup fruit salad: 2
32

I am currently at 8 servings of fruits and veggies for the day. I need one more, so I will probably have another serving of the egg roll. I am discovering that I need to lay off of the sodium. I need to keep an eye on that.

4 comments:

Betty Rubble said...

PCOS can cause anxiety and depression so perhaps there is something going on hormonally that you aren't aware of?

Hugs...and hoping that tomorrow is a better day!

Sarah @ Keep On Keepin' On said...

At least the anxiety is something that you are aware of and are working through. And you still made it to the gym - that means that you are conquering the anxiety, not it conquering you!

I have a question - have you noticed the symptoms of your PCOS getting better with your weight loss? My gyn thinks that I may have a slight case of it, but I have noticed that some of the hormonal imbalances that I was experiencing before have gotten better. Just wondering if your experience was the same.

Keep up the good work!

Maranda said...

I think a visit with your dr. my be in order to check your hormone levels, since you PCOS. I do as well, so I know the struggle of trying to lose weight while battling with PCOS, which cause so many different issue for our bodies.

Scarlet Simple said...

Betty and Sarah: I can give you 2 experiences, but I cant tell you definitely yes on this one. You see to lose weight around this time I gave in to hormonal birth control to help control some of my symptoms and to keep me from losing my mind over whether or not I could be pregnant constantly. Physically I feel better than ever. However the last time I lost weight I did it without hormones and with no real diet plan. After losing just 45lbs I had clear skin, regular (every 28 days on the dot for 7 days) periods and less mood swings. I slept better too.

I always forget about the (active) effects of PCOS on my emotions honestly. I also forget that fat stores excess estrogen and as we lose weight it gets released! Argh. Sarah are you getting a regular period if you dont mind my asking?

I also know that regular exercise improves your insulin sensitivity (also connected to you hormonal imbalances in pcos) a whole heck of a lot so that could totally be making you feel better as well as dropping your chances for developing diabetes from.

I know a whole lot about pcos, but if you want a really great resource and a place you can ask questions and get more experiences: http://www.soulcysters.net/forum.php

Maranda: I have a physical due in June, no worries there. I do always forget how completely pcos effects me, especially when I am so focused on one aspect (losing weight) of it.

Thanks guys!