Day 73

Lets do it this way. Confidence in ourselves and enough love and kindness for ourselves to not only forgive the mistakes, but also to realize that despite the pain, frustration and triumph this journey is going to bring, you are being kind to yourself by going through it.

I have trouble making good choices outside of the house. When I am home, I make wonderful choices. I think this is going to be my challenge particularly since I am going to Boston in a week. I am going to go back to Weight Watchers the week when I come back home. I'm not skipping on purpose but going back with a commitment and then missing the following week would make me nervous.

Tonight I am nursing a sore shoulder, and a sore knee. I did feel a little defeated this evening when I was standing in the canned fruit aisle (I had a coupon for 50 cents off 2 canned dole pineapple, any kind on sale for .99 cents each, but the only thing they had on shelf was canned in heavy syrup so I was waiting for someone to come and pull down some stock) and I went to rest my leg on the back of the cart so I could hold it in place while crossing some stuff off of it. When I moved my knee there was unexpected pain. I was immediately frustrated. I had hurt my knee a few weeks back (after a long day of grocery shopping, I went to the gym, and then I went to Walmart with my husband and while he was checking out I went to sit down and when I sat down I suddenly had pain in my knee for reasons unknown. ).

So, I schlepped my groceries home tonight, put them away with a bunch of help from the boy and now I am sitting with my leg up. I have made the decision not to feel sorry for myself. Nope. Not going to do it.

I'm going to nurse this broken, unforgiving body tonight, and then tomorrow I am taking it to the gym and putting it on the arc trainer. I am not going to push myself to further injury, but by God, a body in motion stays in motion. So tonight I am frustrated, but not done, and I guess that is the point. Sometimes being kind to yourself means kicking your own butt.