Day 1 ..again.

So I have a few minutes here and I wanted to get my entry in for today. I am settled down to start couponing and my husband is doing dishes (love!). When he is done I am going to wipe down the counter tops and table and maybe go over the floors after we feed the animal horde. So I want to get this done while I am thinking about it.

I woke up late today and had to rush so that I could meet my friend for the gym so I ended up not eating before I left the house. I paid for that at first at the gym, but it went away. I got 25 minutes on the elliptical (cross trainer) done and all of my arm strength machines done. I do my arms and legs/core on alternating days so that when I finally make it back up to an hour on the elliptical I will always have something to do between 30 minute segments.

While I was at the gym I was thinking about how stupid I was to have not eaten breakfast before I came out and it hit me. It was a clean slate. Today is Sunday and I could choose to be more aware of my food choices than I have been. When I left the gym and went back to my friends house where other friends were preparing dinner my husband was waiting for me with a small salad. It was just spinach and other veggies with a splash of cheese but it tasted awesome. For dinner I had very small portions, not just because I wanted to but because there were so many people eating. I had half a cup (I didn't measure but Chad made my plate) of rice, a quarter cup of curry and a small piece of tilapia. I was proud of myself but I recognized that I would need to eat again this evening. It wasn't enough food and I would be awake and active for at least 10 more hours! So for actual dinner I had a bowl of vegetable soup with half a serving of crackers. The only thing I can think of today that I maybe should not have had was 3 cookies. I have to admit, I don't feel too guilty about that. I'm going to have some light popcorn too.

When I was talking about shame, I didn't mean to imply that I should have any. I just mean that I do, and I need to let it go. I need to recognize that every single step of this doesn't have to be perfect. Kind of like my having some cookies tonight. Before I would have felt wracked with guilt and all I would be thinking about would be weight gain and how stupid I was for losing control. If weight loss was taking its time I would feel shamed about that too and I kind of want to get past all of that. I don't want a bad day or a few bad days even to shame me into giving up over and over. I want to train myself to roll with the punches so to speak.

In any case, I feel like I am off to a pretty good start. Have a good night guys!