The Journey So Far...

The Journey So Far...

Sunday, January 15, 2012

Day 1 ..again.

So I have a few minutes here and I wanted to get my entry in for today. I am settled down to start couponing and my husband is doing dishes (love!). When he is done I am going to wipe down the counter tops and table and maybe go over the floors after we feed the animal horde. So I want to get this done while I am thinking about it.

I woke up late today and had to rush so that I could meet my friend for the gym so I ended up not eating before I left the house. I paid for that at first at the gym, but it went away. I got 25 minutes on the elliptical (cross trainer) done and all of my arm strength machines done. I do my arms and legs/core on alternating days so that when I finally make it back up to an hour on the elliptical I will always have something to do between 30 minute segments.

While I was at the gym I was thinking about how stupid I was to have not eaten breakfast before I came out and it hit me. It was a clean slate. Today is Sunday and I could choose to be more aware of my food choices than I have been. When I left the gym and went back to my friends house where other friends were preparing dinner my husband was waiting for me with a small salad. It was just spinach and other veggies with a splash of cheese but it tasted awesome. For dinner I had very small portions, not just because I wanted to but because there were so many people eating. I had half a cup (I didn't measure but Chad made my plate) of rice, a quarter cup of curry and a small piece of tilapia. I was proud of myself but I recognized that I would need to eat again this evening. It wasn't enough food and I would be awake and active for at least 10 more hours! So for actual dinner I had a bowl of vegetable soup with half a serving of crackers. The only thing I can think of today that I maybe should not have had was 3 cookies. I have to admit, I don't feel too guilty about that. I'm going to have some light popcorn too.

When I was talking about shame, I didn't mean to imply that I should have any. I just mean that I do, and I need to let it go. I need to recognize that every single step of this doesn't have to be perfect. Kind of like my having some cookies tonight. Before I would have felt wracked with guilt and all I would be thinking about would be weight gain and how stupid I was for losing control. If weight loss was taking its time I would feel shamed about that too and I kind of want to get past all of that. I don't want a bad day or a few bad days even to shame me into giving up over and over. I want to train myself to roll with the punches so to speak.

In any case, I feel like I am off to a pretty good start. Have a good night guys!


Christine said...

letting go of the negative tape is key...saying to yourself "I messed up" or "I am an idiot' or I have no control...none of that does anything. It doesn't fix anything. Wow on your weight loss so far! It is so hard coming out of that. You can do it...and perfection isn't neccessary. Just persistence.

Rettakat said...

I totally agree with Chris: progress, not perfection.

And you'll get there. :-)

M Pax said...

Loretta sent me. :)

I agree with Chris and Loretta. It's about the long haul, not one small moment.

Keep at it. Getting healthy is a great thing.

oh_mg said...

So glad to see you back! Life is full of little blips and slips ... the important thing is staying strong and never giving up! Good luck, looking forward to following along as your journey continues!