Day 138

...was a long one. I did make it to my meeting and I gained 1.2lbs. Yep, this is my first gain since I started. I know, I know everyone does. I just honestly felt like I was really on last week until Saturday night, which honestly might have something to do with it. I woke up on Sunday morning pretty swollen. My face was puffy and my ring was tight. I think perhaps the drink and the saltiness of the food provided for us at the convention were too much. Not to mention it being on the last of my period...I was retaining a lot of water.

I know that I need to step this up, I'm just not sure what that means right now. Before this, a small gain would have meant game over for me because I couldnt take it...now I just want to make the loss happen even more. Reviewing the previous week I did in fact go to the gym, and as I have said I will no longer beat myself up for the lack of movement during my period...but still. I think I ate a very unbalanced week. Too many carbs, not enough vegetables and not enough water. We had a large amount of starches and all of the grains being used were white. my eating schedule was terrible and I was falling back into binging at night to make up the points.

I'm not going to cry over it (because I did that earlier and I'm okay now), but I am going to do better this week. The war continues and it was hard to post this here but I felt like I really really needed to.

Today:
1 pop tart (fiber one): 3
1 cup mandarin oranges: 1
1/4 small chili: 1
1 large salad: 6
1 serving light chicken tikka masala incl rice: 6
1 ww frozen meal: 5
1 serving chicken and green bean casserole: 9
later 2nd serving of casserole: 9
1 serving light crackers: 2
42/43

I got in around 8 servings of veggies because of the enormous salad, and the green bean casserole is laden with greens.

There will be another update tonight for today (139). This entry was just very hard for me and I needed time to let my words be anything but reactionary. I'm not really upset anymore, I'm going to sit down tonight and really work out what I need to do vs what I can do and see if I can push it without becoming overwhelmed. I know where I am lacking, but not everything feels clear. I'm still on the path, but my marching is a little off rhythm you know?