Day 15

Another post! Keeping up with accountability. That is so important to me, even right now. I want to be honest, or as honest as I can be. It helps me. I dont feel like I've fallen off of the wagon so to speak so I wont have to get back into the mind set when the maelstrom passes. I still haven't really cheated anyway. I haven't used anymore of my extra points and I'm still writing down everything I eat. I still want to get there guys, I'm still getting there. I'm not being very healthy right now, but I'm trying to be moderate even as I want to binge with almost every fiber of my being. To numb myself with food and hate myself viciously later. Ahh, cycles. I wont do it this time. I am having my comfort food, but I am not going over board. I might not be eating enough, but like I said last night: It's kindof a fight to keep anything down at the moment.

Today:
1 small mocha latte from starbucks: 3pts
1/2 Cheese steak sub w/ mayo: 20pts (this is an (hopefully) over estimation made using calorieking.com, so is everything below)
1 small order of french fries w/ gravy: 13pts
1 12oz diet pepsi: 0pts
Total for the Day: 36/44 pts
Leftover: 8pts

And again, really, I'm not upset about this. Tomorrow is the last day of all of the proceedings surrounding the funeral. The wake afterwards is at my Aunt Hellen's house. There will be a TON of food there. Tomorrow is the last day of non planned eating. Hopefully I'll be strong enough to keep some self control.

Thursday is back to the gym. I usually skip days between but this week I want to go Thursday, Friday and Saturday morning. Hopefully that will get me more motivated to move on, and help keep my mind off of the way that I feel. I really appreciate the support I am recieveing. You have no idea how nice it is to feel like people arent giving up on you because of a bad week. I need that, and I am so grateful.