Day 82

Today was a slow and relaxing day for the most part. I feel more relaxed than I did a few days ago. I am looking forward to Christmas actually. I like the distraction. Its an automatic reason to be joyful and thankful and even excited. Yes, Christmas still excites me even as an adult. I'm hoping to handle Christmas the same way that I handled Thanksgiving. I'm going to have a great time and enjoy the traditions (food, presents etc) but not lose sight of my ultimate goals. I also don't want to put myself in a bad position mentally. I want to come through the rest of the Holidays guilt free. I will be cooking the whole meal on Christmas day, unlike Thanksgiving. I am going to try and plan out a Weight Watchers friendly meal, and dessert, while also trying to stay traditional to keep my family happy. I don't think they will know the difference honestly. Maybe I'll post some of my ideas here this week for some feedback.

My husband has asked about being allowed to have candy on Christmas this year. I told him that it wouldn't bother me. You have to understand how good he has been to understand my reasoning. Since we have gone on Weight Watchers he has stayed on plan, and never fallen off. Before weight watchers he ate candy every single day. That is not an exaggeration. Every night he brought home starburst or sour patch kids or something equally sugary. He honestly just loves candy, so does his father for that matter, Since we started counting points he hasn't binged on candy or asked for any, or complained about not having any. I really only like specific candy and so I don't feel that his having some on Christmas is going to affect me, and I trust him when he says just for the day. His journey is his own after all and he seems to be succeeding.

I wonder if there will ever be a day when my instincts switch over to eating just enough to be satisfied. Will there ever be a day when I can bring home a cheesecake and have just a slice, or none at all? Will I ever be able to go into a chinese food buffet and not over do it? More importantly will I ever accomplish these feats without thinking about it constantly? I certainly hope so. That will be one of the single most freeing days of my life I think.

Back to the gym Monday. Same goals as the week before last! Going for another 4 lbs! Also, my weigh in is tomorrow. I would be lying if I said I didn't hope to lose weight with all of my heart and soul, and I would be lying if I said I gave it my all this past week. I've been distracted and busy. Thus is the journey. I have a feeling if it was really easy it might not be worth doing, even though that sounds kinda funny. While my weight loss might not make a great showing I still feel as though the work I am doing on myself inside is making a major difference. I know that I am doing well, and will be trying to keep that in the front of my mind all day tomorrow. I would be pleased as punch to have just maintained tomorrow morning. Wish me luck!

Today:
Large (rather huge) salad: 6
3 tbsp light ranch: 3
1 can soup: 3
2 servings cheddar rice cakes: 5
1 serving cheese: 3
1 bowl of baked potato soup: 12
1 cup ice cream: 6
2 bites of second salad: 2
Total for the Day: 40/44
Leftover: 4