Day 195

I made the meeting today! No waiting: I lost exactly 1 pound. This makes my current weight 340.4, and my total loss 77.4 lbs. I will take it! Especially considering the few weeks I have had lately. I have been lucky, honestly because I haven't been on the ball. Yeah I have had a bad run, a killer week long migraine and moving, and the monthly from way down below, but how long am I going to let these things get in my way?

Yeah I'm not going to hurt myself over what I couldn't do, and I don't feel like these things weren't valid. I'm just trying not to let a bad run turn into hurricane season for diet parade. I won't lie, I wont be perfect, ever. That's part of the beauty of the journey! I have learned enough from all of the previous times I have tried to lose weight to find the one thing that I believe makes the difference and keeps me here, doing this, when all I think I want to do is fail for reliefs sake! I don't want to fail. Every single pound I lose brings me closer to being under 300lbs which is something I haven't been since before I was 16. Every step brings me closer to the things I want, and finally feel like I deserve! I cant give this up! I've come further than I ever have before! What is that one thing I have learned that I never realized in all of those previous tries? To keep going. I have learned that if I screw up, which is in fact a matter of a time and just life, that I don't have to start over, or quit, or binge out of frantic guilt. I am learning to let go of the guilt and keep moving. Has anyone else ever heard of the Isty Bitsy Spider? Sometimes that's what this feels like. I'm going to make it, I'm going to beat this weight, and defeat my inner demons. I'm at war with myself, and I intend to live.

Spring Challenge!

Loretta posted a Spring Challenge and I think I am going to do it with her. I'm starting tomorrow so I'm coming 2 days late, but I feel like its a positive step in the right direction. There is a prize, but I feel like I'll be giving a gift to myself just by finishing the challenge. It is 13 weeks long so I will be starting on March 22 and finishing on June 23.

I need to pick 5 of my own goals and try to stick to them (and maybe even turn them into habits) for 13 weeks.

My super hero goal is to exercise 5 days a week, for 13 weeks. It doesn't all have to be the gym, but I expect an hour a day in any combination of time (at least 15 minutes at a go).

I will eat my 9 servings of fruits and vegetables per day money and groceries permitting (I have to give slack for when I don't have supplies!).

I will make every single weekly Weight Watchers meeting between now, and then. I don't know if there will be one on Easter though, and I will be on vacation out of town on Sunday the 6th. So in 13 weeks I should be able to make 11 meetings which is a nice change from my twice a month right now!

I will check in every Monday, since I am starting on Monday.

At the end of 13 weeks, I am going to buy myself that bike, and start riding with my husband on the weekends.

So in short my goals are:
1. Exercise 1 hour a day 5 days a week for 13 weeks.
2. Eat the WW recommended servings of fruits and vegetables every day.
3. Go to as many WW meetings as I possibly can.
4. Check in on Mondays.
5. Get a bike. Finally.

Anyone who wants to do this challenge is welcome! Check in with Loretta!

Today:
half bbq chick salad: 5
1 cup broccoli cheddar soup: 4
2 cookies: 2
1 subway sub: 13
1 serving baked lays: 3
1 serving cereal: 2
1 serving skim milk: 1
1 serving cheesy tuna mac: 9
1/3 molten cake shared with husband as a treat (my brother is a cook at Chilis): 9
41/41 + 7/33

Food will be much better tomorrow!