The Journey So Far...

The Journey So Far...

Thursday, October 8, 2009

Day 30

So this is me, at 399.2 lbs. I know you can see my bra. You have to understand though that short of wearing turtle necks all of the time I cant avoid that. I am sorry if this picture offends anyone.

Looking at this picture is hard. I've always been obese don't get me wrong, but its hard to face a solid image of it. I can avoid mirrors, but if I want pictures of my journey for posterity I cant avoid my camera. I want to be able to see my choices in the flesh, and I never want to forget what 400 feels like.

I did my circuit today at the gym, I upped all but two of my eight machines to 3 sets. I did not up the machines that work my legs. I also did 25/25 again, though I really want to get to 30/30 or more. So 2 miles today! I'm proud of that. 2.4 on the treadmill is actually proving to be pretty hard sometimes. I find the first 15 minutes of the first 25 to be the hardest. My legs start burning and I have to scream at myself to keep going. I do it though. No breaks, no excuses. It is so hard that sometimes I just want to stop, sit down on the end of the treadmill and cry. I felt like that today. But being 400lbs is hard too. Its hard to walk, and I cant run at all. Its hard to live at 400 lbs. It is not harder to get my butt on that treadmill every day. Eventually the treadmill will get easier. Being 400 never will.

One egg sandwich (fried egg no oil, slice cheese, 100cal english muff): 4pts
1 can chunky veg soup: 3pts
2 slices cheese: 3pts
10 Rice Quakes: 2pts
1 vanilla pudding: 2pts
1 Turkey, cheese, tomato, pickle sandwich with lite mayo, and mustard on low cal bread: 7pts
Banana: 2pts (CRAP, forgot the banana! Into my extra points by two! I need to stop doing that!)
Fresco Chicken Taco: 3pts
Stir Fry: 7pts
1 Skinny Cow Ice cream: 2pts
3 cups broccoli steamed: 2pts
3 tbsp teriyaki sauce: 4pts
1 nutella and jam sandwich: 5pts
Total for the Day: 44/44 and 2/35 weekly
Leftover: 33/35

The points tracker online said I was at 35pts today, but I am sure I am at at least 42. Ahh, so confused, and not feeling quite as sure about my week. Its only Wednesday! I know I am going to the gym on Saturday too this week!


Luize said...

Hi Scarlet!

Good to be so brave! And congratulations! Your weight start with number three. You are under four. Keep going!
I suggest you to read a very good blog The Daily Diary of a Winning Loser starting from Day 1. It's easier when you understand how good is to start and not look back:

G said...

You'll be glad you took the pictures in 8 weeks when you start to notice subtle differences in your face and arms (I got big 'ol ham hocks, now slightly smaller hocks)

Rettakat said...

It took a lot of courage to post your pic! I know what you mean about seeing a solid image...I avoided cameras so much that I so far I haven't been able to find a "before" pic of me when I was 460 lbs. They definitely didn't make it into any photo albums...maybe somewhere hidden in some box...

Yep, later you will be glad you have this one, and be excited at the changes you will see.

MissyM said...

Hi Girlfriend. I have a nifty little award for you over on my blog so come and get it!