Day 39

So, as you all know, I have been feeling so exhausted this week, and while I feel better recently, the gym seriously kicked my butt today. Today was a circuit day, and I tried to start my cardio with the bike, as I had mentioned that I wanted to try and change up some of the monotony. I am so not ready for the bike. At 2 minutes I was hurting in a bad way. You know what I mean, when your muscles are sore its really okay for the most part, but I was in so much pain at 2 minutes that I had to pause. I did 4 minutes total and then got off to go do the treadmill. I figure I can do baby steps with the bike. Tomorrow I will do 4 more minutes, and then maybe Monday I'll be able to do 5. I then did a mile on the treadmill, and I was supposed to do another mile to finish, but I just didn't have it in me. I made it to another half a mile before I gave in. I'm still pretty proud of my showings though. Six months ago it took me over an hour to walk a mile. Today it takes me 25 minutes. When I started this, I could only do 3/4ths of a mile consistently. Today I can do two. Today I can walk through a grocery store without needing to sit down every 20 minutes or so, and I can keep up with my husbands leisurely walk.

When this started I could walk, but I had so much trouble. It's hard to admit to being the close to seriously handicapped of your own accord. I couldn't do a lot of the house work I needed to be doing because I couldn't be on my feet that long, not to mention bending over or being on my knees for any length of time was a serious no can do. I tried to weed my garden once and couldn't walk for a few days after. That was a harsh wake up call, but I didn't heed it. My friends came to my rescue and put a beautiful garden in for me. I couldn't keep it up though. I just can not yet do the necessary weeding. So there is a new goal for me. I want to be able to do my own gardening!

I'm feeling a touch raw today. One of my room mates suggested that I was lazy because recently we have been paying my cousin (trying to stay clean, and needing to make money, long story) clean our house. I told him that I could not go to the gym every day and do everything else I need to do and clean my house the way it needed to be cleaned in my current condition. He told me it all came down to motivation. I'm sorry if any of you find violence to be abhorrent, but I wanted to blow up his head with my mind. He has no clue about how much it takes for me to push myself everyday. Mentally or physically. I mean, yeah, dont let your being obese get in the way of your life, but when it does, and you know you have come down to what is your last chance (and it is my last chance) you do what you need to do in order to live. Even when that means that some of your lesser responsibilities have to be put on hold. Dont ever let someone tell you that your place in life is more important than your health and happiness.

Anyway, that is my rant for the day. I didn't do too bad on food, I'm 5 points short for the day though. Argh. I have got to get better about getting the pacing on my days right. I could have gotten them in, but I'm not going to break my no eating after 2am rule!

Today:
1 granola bar: 1pts
1 serving gnocchi florentine: 8pts
1 serving cheese: 2pts
1 serving mixed veggies: 0pts
2 servings tofu shirataki noodles: 1pts
1 tbsp curry paste: 0pts
1/2 cup spaghetti sauce: 2pts
2 tbsp light cream: 2pts
1/2 serving cheese: 1pts
1/4th slice gluten free bread: 1pts
1 whole wheat bagel: 2pts
1 serving mozz. : 2pts
1/4th cup spaghetti sauce: 1pts
1 ww yogurt: 1pts
1 serving chinese pineapple chicken: 7 pts
1 cup rice: 4pts
1 skinny cow ice cream: 3pts
1 cup cherries: 1pts
Total for the Day: 39/44
Leftover: 5

Chad and I have been married for two years today, October 17, 2009. :) I love him more than words can say, and without him I know I wouldn't have the will to go on with this. He is my reason for...everything. I am blessed beyond belief to have him in my life.