Day 14

After all this time I still struggle with what to type into this little text box. Do you get tired of hearing about what I eat every day and how I feel? Sometimes I feel like most of my blog here is me processing my feelings. That's part of it right?

I'm pretty down. I feel pretty negative right now. I feel like the deck is stacked against me. My thoughts are all doom and gloom and I'm just having trouble shaking it off. I am definitely not trying to wallow in it. Reading blog posts is hard though, because I can identify with the emotional struggles I'm reading about, and the successes remind me of what I gave up.

I'm not giving up though. I've done well enough so far, I just haven't reached the point where I can at least feel the warmth from the light that must be at the end of this tunnel. Maybe morale is just harder to scrounge up after such an epic set back (Last time). Remembering all of the things I said and all of the promises I made to myself last time I feel like a giant fake. It's part of the reason I'm having trouble trusting myself.

The thing is, I know what I need to do. I know why I need to do it and I even know how. I know it works and I know it works for me. So I'm going to stick to it and work it out and make it happen. This is not the first time I've been over 400 pounds but I'd like it to be its going to be my last.

1 Lyfe Kitchen Frozen steel cut oatmeal entree
1 container low fat yogurt
2 oz cooked pasta
1 can tomato soup
1 oz american cheese
1 serving low fat baked cheese nips
1 cup green beans
1/2 cup baked beans
2 baked boneless pork chops
1 blue bunny mini cone

Dinner will be:
1 serving home made pasta sauce (made with chicken sausage)
2 servings garden delight pasta
1 oz american cheese

After dinner I will have 4 points left.

Grocery shopping tomorrow, then the gym on Thursday and Friday. Good night guys!