The Journey So Far...

The Journey So Far...

Wednesday, July 31, 2013

Day 28

Today was really hard in more than one way. I've been feeling all moody and depressed. I didn't sleep well last night, I tossed and turned for hours and I ended up keeping Chad awake too long too. I was just an anxious about bills, plans, roommates and food. Lately everything has been really hard for me. So much so that I finally made the call to see a therapist. I have an appointment on August 13th. I think (as long as the insurance and everything goes well) that this could be a huge piece of the whole puzzle for me. I am pretty sure I have depression, and I would not be surprised to find out that I have some sort of anxiety disorder.

In any case, all I wanted to do today was sit in the dark with the TV on Syfy channel and eat. I did not do that though. I worked on my coupons, cleaned up the house, and made dinner. I ate too much today but that't not too bad of a thing considering I have weekly points for moments of weakness. I only used 9 of them.

I'm not hungry, but I do feel the need to self soothe, which I equate involuntarily with food. I've been coping but today I slipped a little. I was also going to start adding Tuesday nights into my gym routine but that will have to wait until next week. I'm exhausted. I know I have been saying that a lot lately, but I am.

Years ago, when I first started this blog, one of the tearful conversations I had with my husband involved me explaining to him that if I went to the gym that would be pretty much it for the day for me. I was way out of shape and over 400 pounds. This time around funnily (not) enough I am heavier than I was but still in better shape. Its weird, but its true. I mean better shape is relative when you struggle to do 20 minutes of cardio but back when I started at a lower weight I could barely do ten. Anyway my point is that though I am able to do more than just the gym these days I am still feeling incredibly spent sometimes. Okay, a lot of the time.

Anyway, onward march and all that jazz. The diet parade waits for no one.


Tuesday, July 30, 2013
1/4 cup(s) unsweetened dill pickle(s)
1  slice(s) American cheese
1 1/2 oz turkey breast lunch meat (3-1/2" square)
1  roll Arnold Sandwich Thins
1  tbsp Kraft Mayo
1  serving(s) Aldi Cracker Crisps
2  serving(s) chicken and rice soup
1  container Muller Yogurt
1  serving(s) Cooks Perfect Turkey Meatballs
3  serving(s) Buitoni Angel Hair (80g)
1  serving(s) Aldi Cracker Crisps
1 1/2 Average Pasta Sauce #4
1  slice(s) American cheese
1  serving(s) Aldi Cracker Crisps
4  Tbsp fat free salsa
2  serving(s) Ben and Jerrys Raspberry brownie frozen yogurt
2  cup Campbell's Soup
Food PointsPlus values total used75
Food PointsPlus values remaining0
No entries for activity. 
Activity PointsPlus values earned0


Liz @ The Shrinking Owl said...

It is so hard not to eat your feelings. I struggle with it myself. Keep on keepin' on... just because you trip on one step of the staircase doesn't mean that you say "screw it" and go back down the stairs.

Scarlet Simple said...

That is *exactly* what the weight watchers meeting was about this week. :) Surviving slip ups. I like your analogy!

Its one I really need.