Yesterday when I went to pick up my moms mail from my aunts house I got an ear full. Everyone wants me to have surgery. Most people don't even know I'm already thinking about it. They just push so hard. My aunt (who does love me, and I her so no hard feelings there) told me that I said I would consider surgery if I failed the last time I tried to lose weight. I didn't fail though, I lost almost 100lbs last time I actually tried. Then she told me that she would be really mad at me if she had to go to my funeral. Yeah. The pushing does two things: It tears me down and makes me feel like a failure, and it makes me want to push back. It makes me want to refuse to even think about that option. They make me want to mount an argument against it. I wont do that though. Bottom line, I am going to do whats best for me. I cant do the surgery right now. I cant see myself there right now.
Changing topics, this made me happy:
The Color Run is coming back to Baltimore! I'm not sure I can attend this time, but it looks like so much fun that I cant help but want to. My fitness level is pretty low, but they allow walkers. Of course by the next time they come I will be in better shape. Its something to look forward to at least. (Though another friend is texting me telling me she will walk it with me now.)
I went back to the gym today. I added in weights and did 20 minutes on the Arc Trainer. I didn't do all eight machines that I was doing originally. Two of them put some pressure on my knees and while I was on vacation I managed to hurt my right knee. Its healing and I'm still going to the gym, but I'm going to be nice to it.
My food is fine today too. I seem to keep finishing up with points leftover. Today I was left with 16. I guess it isn't hurting me and after Wednesday when I get more groceries I'm sure I will have plenty of things to fill up those points with! I'm out of milk, cheese, lunch meat, leafy greens etc. You name it, I probably need it!
1 serving Quaker perfect portions
2 tsp sugar
1 13.5oz simply orange juice
8 oz thin spaghetti
1 sausage link
1 serving pasta sauce
1 cup white rice
1 serving Hawaiian Chicken (home made)
1 serving steamed green peas
1 serving banana dippers (sliced banana dipped in dark chocolate sprinkled with almonds)
>20 raw baby carrots
2 servings (measured!) french onion dip
1 bag 94% FF popcorn
1 16oz iced coffee with skim milk
splenda
Good night guys!
2 comments:
The decision to have surgery is yours and yours alone. I have toyed with the idea a few times myself but in my own opinion I would feel like a failure if I couldn't lose the weight without surgery. The color run looks like so much fun!
I agree. I think that having the surgery does not make anyone a failure. It is your journey you know? Surgery is a tool, you still have to work hard when its over. I'm just not ready for that option right now.
The Color Run looks like SO MUCH FUN! I have another friend interested now and she has convinced me to enter. I think we are going to call ourselves Team Pancakes.
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